why the “wife says no” story is apocryphal

I keep on seeing a link to the “wife says no” story.  I’m appalled that anyone could be gullible enough to believe it.  This just doesn’t pass the smell test.  Here’s the story, as quoted by MacRumors:

[Apple’s] focus this week has been to troubleshoot all the iPad 2s that customers are returning to the stores. One iPad came back with a post it note on it that said “Wife said no.” It was escalated as something funny, and two of the VPs got wind of it. They sent the guy an iPad 2 with a note on it that said “Apple said yes.”

Apple’s return policy states the following:

[I]f you are not satisfied with your Apple purchase, return it with the original receipt and original packaging within fourteen (14) calendar days of the date of purchase. If the item is returned unopened, in the original box, we will exchange it or offer a refund based only on the original payment method.

For an unopened iPad, it would go straight back onto the shelves (or, more accurately, it would get sold within approximately four seconds after its return), and thus no-one beyond the staff at the particular Apple Store would know the guy’s reason for returning it.

Even if you argue that the Apple Store stretched its return policies to accept an opened iPad (and there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that they do), there’s still no reason for them to ship the iPad anywhere outside the store. They can simply verify that it’s in new condition and shrink-wrap it again. This probably increases the time until it gets resold from 4 seconds to 20 seconds.

If the iPad was returned, wasn’t in new condition (and thus couldn’t be put back on the store shelves immediately), and was still accepted for a return, then it does get shipped somewhere. Returned devices are returned to the factory to be refurbished. Barring repeated reports of physical issues, it’s likely that the only people who touch a returned iPad are the Apple Store employee who accepts the return, the person who boxes it up for return to a central facility, and the person at the central facility who then returns them to the factory.

If the original owner returned it, why would he put a sticky note on it to explain his reason for returning it? He has to know that he’s going to have to talk to someone at the Apple Store to complete the return, so attaching a sticky note will do nothing to help him. The manager of the Apple Store is going to talk to the guy (assuming that it’s an open-box return; otherwise, it’s just the employee at the Apple Store who talks to him), not just look at a sticky note and accept the return wordlessly. If it’s unopened, the guy might have a laugh with the employee who’s taking the return, but there’s still no sticky note.

I suppose it’s possible that it’s someone at the Apple Store who put the sticky note on it, but then it makes no sense for Apple to send the guy a new iPad with the note “Apple says yes” on it. The other alternative for the “wife says no” notation is that the Apple Store employee entered that into the “why is this being returned?” field in their return form. In either case, the “wife says no” notation didn’t originate from the owner, so he’s not going to understand the returned “Apple says yes” sticky note. I trust that Apple VPs are smart enough to realise that.

Finally, the story comes from MacRumors. Not just MacRumors, but their Page 2 list, which makes the story much less believable. I actually like MacRumors quite a lot, and have spent a fair amount of time on their forums, but their stories are often inaccurate. This is doubly true for their Page 2 stories. It must be noted that a story about some guy getting a free iPad with a funny note on it is a great way to drive traffic.

I understand why the story has caught people’s imagination. It’s funny, and it matches up with what we want to believe about Apple.  Mails from Steve Jobs always grab headlines in the Mac geek blogosphere, even though the vast majority of these emails are unconfirmed.  Anyone can claim that they’ve received email from sjobs@apple, and I have only rarely seen anyone try to verify the headers of one of these reported emails.  Stories about about Apple going above and beyond in making a customer happy, albeit again without much in the way of verification.

I get why we want to believe the story, but let’s apply some judicious thought to it before we take it as fact and forward it around indiscriminately. Doing so is no better than forwarding around the rumour that asparagus cures cancer.

2 thoughts on “why the “wife says no” story is apocryphal”

  1. ‘course the story’s not true–but that’s all the more reason to laugh. It’s every husband’s fantasy.

    1. You husbands need to come up with better fantasies! Although, I suppose it should be noted that I’m likely not interested in hearing about them.

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